Recently, Americans across the country took the time to honor our veterans for their service and sacrifice.  Memorial Day has become an iconic part of our culture, and for good reason.  It’s not enough to form a Constitutional Republic.  We have to be willing and able to defend it from those who would see harm come to it, and, for me personally, this is why I celebrate the men and women who have served in our Armed Forces.

So, like a good American, I invited a veteran friend over to join us for burgers and other holiday fare.  As a person who did not serve in any Armed Forces, while we were sitting around chatting, it dawned on me that there was something larger going on here.

My friend is actually part of a small but vital part of our country.  He is one of those who willingly sacrifices his time and effort to public service still to this day in our local community and politics.  In short, I began to realize how important these types of servants are in our country and that often the need to be of service to their community extends well beyond our service men and women’s time in our Armed Services.  These citizens are just cut out of a different cloth, and it is super inspiring.

Now, I know, this is a mental health column, so you started reading this to get, perhaps, some tips on veteran mental health.  I just want to take a bit of a different approach this time around.

I would first like to honor that everyone seems to have a different experience in the Armed Forces, and I have seen people with no visible scars and seemingly no emotional scars who speak fondly of their time in the military.  There are also those whose experience led to a lot of trauma both physical and emotional.  How can we tell the difference?

That brings me to my final point of the column.

There’s only one person who truly knows what wounds, if any, exist in veterans who served our country: The veteran.  Ask them.  Not all wounds are on the surface, but we don’t know about them if we never ask.  It’s another way that we have to say thank you to our vets for their service that goes beyond barbecues and national holidays.